I just wanna dive off the highest mountain, into the deepest blue sea, gain some understanding, stop questioning me!
Take me higher, let me fly, take me deeper, broaden my mind!
Let me explore with freedom, – open its many doors, and not waste away like an apple core…
Life can be cruel, but it can also be kind, but there’s no peace or joy when you have a deranged mind.
Living in the valley, it can be hard to bear reality.
Feeling separated from the oneness of the universe, oh complete wholeness, come feed me and annihilate this nasty curse!
I reach out, but I’m blind. I’ve lost my sight from spending too long in the shadows of the dark.
Bravery abandoned, joy so far away – I’m left with a wounded heart, one that’s covered in stretch marks.
The pain, the rain, the sanity turned to rage, lost in a whirlpool of acute hate, too faithless to fight, I’ve become a pile of slush on the cold, dead floor, spiked with poison – I just can’t take it anymore!!!
What can I do to ease the grey of my rainy day? Should I pray? No! I must learn to slay… Slay the dementors that taunt and jeer, and try their damn best to bring me to tears.
Would a chalice of wine help calm my messy brain, or would it only serve to bring me more disdain, hauling me straight into the abyss of hedonistic folly and delusional bliss?
It would probably only last an hour or two, that’s if I didn’t get wasted, which I never do, as I’d rather feel my pain, even if it makes me feel insane, than overlook it in a bogus disguise because, over time, that would only lead to my demise.
Determined to escape this violent storm within, but fading in and out, a battle between ego and sin…
But glory is unyielding.
Enough is enough!!!
Now I choose, now I choose, now I choose to change.
I require, invite, elect, and embrace it, and in an instant I am vibrating higher and have become a warrior fighter, sword in hand, a line drawn in the sand, I raise my gaze and shake off this crazy, glazed daze, and look at fear straight in its fat, ugly, shrivelled face.
I cut it down, severing it to pieces, and dismantling its hold and facade of power.
It’s no easy fight, but it must be done, even if it takes all Goddamn night, to once again have clear insight, and know the difference between darkness and light.
Before me, I see the celestial silver lining. And along with that, I get a glimpse of the sun shining.
I gratefully invite it and bask in its rays, and suddenly I begin, if even only a wee little bit, to feel more ok.
When I feel the illuminating light and surrender to its might, I become like a bird in flight, dreaming and soaring, my imagination roaring.
With bliss and new understanding, I tune in and listen, to that quiet little voice within, that I’m no longer ignoring…
“Just surrender… to the unknown, to that which is bigger than you…” it gently whispers.
“Surrender to the opportunities, possibilities, and experiences that break you away from this boxed way of thinking.”
As I yield to inner wisdom, a new dawn begins and clears away the black cloud of deceit within, scraping the sludge off my jaded soul, to see with eyes wide open herein…
Dwell within me like a thousand candle flames, like salt, flavour my essence, like a colourful rainbow of crystal raindrops from paradise itself, drench me.
An ocean of serene energy… is now what I am…