(inner self)
Hollow like a drum
Cascading emotions run,
They smash the ground in pieces,
Shattered, crumbled, frozen in fear, disassociated from peace and wholeness
Not knowing where to go. Where to from here?
A glazed expression, stifling life flow, causing anxiety, then zoning out in escapism, a cyclic pattern that seems impossible to break.
Fear – a vacuum, both forcefully draining joy and then leaving me empty, a void of confusion and stupor.
The world – a spinning, kaleidoscopic illusion that both sparkles and destroys.
Hands me the fruit of good and evil, when I’m in my most vulnerable state – when I’m feeling too weak to decide – when I feel abandoned by my higher self, from God, from the universe itself!!
When I don’t know if my intuition is aligned or if it’s been programmed to work against me.
Feeling so full, yet feeling so torn apart, so far from comfort, so far from contentment, lost in the mission of my soul’s purpose.
Everything feels in vain, like a root gone wrong, instead of reaching water it reaches rock and can go no further.
The emotions that felt high and pleasant yesterday, are far gone, replaced with apprehension and doubt – can I even trust my own mind? My intuition? My decisions?
What am I and who am I and what do I want and what matters??? What do I actually want, and what ACTUALLY matters?
Like oil spreading on a wet road, getting thinner and thinner, losing itself, separating, and unable to recalibrate.
Take me higher, help me see….
(higher self)
Oh my soul. Oh my dearest inner soul, you are perfect in your imperfection, but you are so disillusioned, so separated, so void of the substance of your togetherness, your completeness, your wholeness.
Floating in the wind, flying here and there, catching on a branch, falling to the earth, waking in a daze, with amnesia, and a crookback, you are loved, and you can be whole, you’ve just forgotten for this moment in time.
You are here and there, but you can be reunited, no matter how painful or long it may take.
Like a fire in the wind, like a tornado, like a tidal wave, like an earthquake, – all powerful and destructive, forces that cannot be stopped by humanity, there is always a calm after the havoc, though devastating and surreal, also catalystic for renewal and change. You are like this force of nature. You will not always have an objective perspective of yourself. Don’t fret dear one. Hold on and trust the process, with curiosity and patience.
Allow the flow of new growth, embers that are still burning will become blossoms of bliss. Pain will deepen your understanding. Surrender is showing you to the light of wisdom and freedom. Have faith. Be strong. Cry. And accept your insecurities, while letting go of your fears.
You are safe and right where you need to be. In the arms of love. Held and secure. Right here and now, surrender and just be.
Let your tears fall like raindrops on the earth, each one a sacred treasure that holds emotion so beautiful and strong, watering the earth, as the earth nourishes your body. Going up into the atmosphere, the air, the sky, the universe, which nourishes your mind and soul.
You are one with all, and all is one. We are I. I is us all. All good is of love. Surrender and have courage and compassion for yourself. You need it the most right now.
As your vessel is refilled, it will overflow once again to your sphere of influence, to empower and encourage, to bring the collective conscious to a higher frequency, and the cycle will continue.
You are love. Love. Just love.